I’m still alive and didn’t know why until the day she said with skill
“The reason you’re still here, “is for me to see old age isn’t so cruel
I didn’t understand until my young lovely, lady, friend whispered words into
in my ear that I could comprehend, “To see a man as old as you still able to walk,
talk, hike and make love without any help restores my belief in life.
“To see that to age is okay and all old men aren’t like the ones I see and wonder
how can it be that they’re always weakened in one way or another and no longer have
joy or strength to walk a short length, hike a mile, or act like an incarnate man”.
I often wished I’d never seen life and I dared death to come and take me when it could from the lousy slum where hunger and pain filled my hazy days and cold, cold nights kept my spirit alive and awake to suffer and feel all the pain sent my way.
In my prime, I turned to crime to make my days better than they were, and I didn’t prefer any risk that could entice death to come and get me,because I didn’t want to stay alive and often prayed that my unhappy life would end.
My friends and others I knew were taken in the night and sent up above or
down below where the hellish flames glowed. I always wondered why death
treated me so cruel when it passed me by. Was there a reason for me to stay alive?
If there was, I couldn’t imagine what it was and did my best to die so I could go up
into the sky or down below to join my friends. I knew heaven was out of reach because
I’d have to pay for what I’d done during my life to stay alive.
Things began to change when I grew into a man and learned there was a world
without a curse upon it, way beyond my neighborhood where it was okay to commit
any crime to buy beer or wine to help us forget how we suffered and would soon die.
Shadows fell from my eyes when I saw not every man was like me and friends of mine
who met a timely end and would commit any crime. There were men who didn’t get drunk and beat their wives who seemed to have nine lives.
I discovered there were families who never fought one another and loved each other forever. So unlike where I lived and family members brawled and shed blood over wine and beer.
The world I saw was indeed strange, but I began to believe life could be fun when I
had a baby girl. She was mine to not only love, but adore. I finally had a reason to stay alive and did everything I could to remain on Earth so I could see my baby grow.
Survival became okay and I no longer wished to death for relief. I saw my baby girl grow
and my love grew along with her and never died. If it wasn’t for this little girl, I would have died long ago. But because of her I got to grow old and to my surprise, my life that
started out wicked has changed so much that I’m an inspiration, not only to the girl who said I’m still alive for her, but have heard sentiments like this from many people and my kids. So whoever kept me alive all these years had a reason and that’s why I’m still here!