Even though it’s against the law, and the
church says it’s wrong, I’m not in awe as
I stuff the gun barrel into my mouth knowing
it’ll end this dreary life.
I’m brave because I know my soul won’t
remain in the grave like a Christian waiting
for Jesus to come out of the sun as the one
who’ll announce the end of days.
I don’t believe my body and soul will be
resurrected when I hear the words of God that
say, “You’ll be made whole and will crawl
from the grave to live again when the world ends.”
Memories of past lives abound in my mind
and most of them are gems and better than
the one I’ve lived this time around so deep
in slime that I need to end it to begin again.
Memories that keep me awake are ones where
I’ve been an insect, an animal, and even once
a snake. Not one of these lives was lived as cruelly
lived as this human one, so I pray my next life will be as a bug.
I break the law and pull the trigger only to discover
an instant before I die that my memories of living before
are there because a man named Buzz said,
“Take this and see.” And he gave me some LSD.