“What’s the charge?” the female judge asked the clerk of the court.
“Crimes against nature.”
“Be more specific please?”
“Rape and murder,” your honor.
“Guilty or not?” the judge asked the accused man who stood as though abused.
He raised his head and manacled hands as high as the chains would allow, folded them as in prayer, and said aloud, “Your honor, it’s not my fault. Mother Nature is to blame. She’s the one who made me what I am without any exam. She made my sex drive so strong, I can’t resist when I see a woman. Mother Nature doesn’t give a damn about any manmade tools they claim are rules.
“To call nature, mother, is misleading, because it’s not heeding the fact that though nature naturally sounds normal, I say what she does to our world should be considered a sublime crime against mankind. People like you who enforce the natural law are in awe of her and allow her to claim in Mother Nature’s Name, that man commits crimes against her.
“Stop to think what nature has designed. It isn’t in the name of love. Insects capture others and keep them alive to lay their eggs inside the thing while still alive, and when the larvae hatch, they’ll have a movable feast under their feet. A torture like this should certainly be a crime and punished like any other committed by a mother.
“What’s so good about nature I want to know? If I followed my nature, I’d rob and kill to fill my needs. Doing that is more natural than to wake to an alarm and work all day long in a field, a factory or someplace worse. I naturally kill things to eat, to wear, and sometimes just for fun. Mother Nature gave me the keys to that door. So, I say, I can’t be guilty for doing what comes naturally. Or did she only give me this idea to turn the screws when I choose to follow her dictates? Couldn’t, wouldn’t the planet be a better place if Mother Nature had a father to show her how to run the world?”
“You’re as guilty as can be,” the judge said, “and if you think Mother Nature can be cruel, wait till you see what I have in store for you. You’ll be taken to a hospital where you’ll become a woman.
“You should have known better than to rant against nature!” said the judge, “and now you’re about to discover why there’s a large woman in charge.”