#91 Heart of Stone
Women didn’t like the way I acted or looked. The hell with them I thought. This is the modern age, and I can create a woman of my own. I studied all the books on DNA, RNA, artificial life, cloning, and other methods used in laboratories around the world. It was confusing until I found a site that claimed to have a book that showed twenty-one easy steps for creating a woman.
Sent for the book, cleaned out my garage and got to work. I made my woman gray instead of white, black, brown, yellow or any other color. I made her tall and thin instead of short and squat. Her skin turned out bumpy and rough instead of smooth and soft as she would have preferred.
She wasn’t exactly beautiful, but I didn’t care as long as she was mine and would behave exactly like I wanted.
I followed the book’s instructions to a T. When I plugged her into the 220- volt socket; she moved. I let her charge the entire night. In the morning after I pulled her plug, she got up and wanted to dance. She was a lousy dancer, so I told her to sit down.
She was as lively as a newborn pup and inquisitive too. I couldn’t understand how or why because inside of her light-colored head there was no brain. I looked in the book. It said the DNA I used to grow her parts from had a memory of their own. The book said I could train her as I would a dog and do it in only 30 days.
“Sit,” I said, and she did. “Roll over,” I said. She did three times. “Good girl.” I patted her head and fed her a doggie biscuit for being good like the book said I should.
She followed me around and lay at my feet when I sat on a chair. I named her Frankie, short for Frankenstein. She soon learned to respond when I called. She did everything I asked, plus more. When I asked her to rub my feet, she licked my toes. If I wanted dinner, she’d make a gourmet meal.
A few years went by, and I fell in love, and wanted to marry her even though she ran on oil instead of blood. I thought it about time that a man and a machine should wed. Went to city hall to get a marriage license, and they told me it wasn’t allowed.
“Marriage is for humans, not machines,” the clerk said.
“Same-sex marriage is allowed. I even heard of a man marrying his dog in California, so why can’t I marry the woman I created for myself?”
“Number one, she doesn’t have a birth certificate, number two; she doesn’t have a social security card. How do we know she’s not an illegal immigrant? Another thing, she’s made out of stone. There’s no way you can be married to a rock.”
“If I made her out of flesh, would I be allowed to marry her?”
“As long as she has a birth certificate and social security card.”
“I’ve created the perfect woman. See how obedient she is? ”I told her to roll over, and she did.
The clerk was impressed but said, “That’s great, but she’s still made of stone.”
If only I could reverse Medusa’s curse and change her from stone to flesh. I didn’t know what to do. I had come to love Frankie for all that she was and didn’t want to rebuild her. Medusa was said to have turned men into stone if they gazed upon the snakes growing from her head.
The Goddess Athena was responsible for her becoming what she was. I researched how I’d get her to reverse the process and turn stone to flesh. I told Frankie what I wanted to do. She knew who Athena was and started praying.
“Goddess Athena, you are my favorite for I, like you, was born from the head of a man. And I, like you, am a woman true. Grant me the ability to see truth and clarity, to learn and appreciate new things, and to treasure and maintain the knowledge I already possess. Allow me to become flesh and blood so I can marry Joe. Thank you for allowing me to retain my reason and higher faculties while allowing me to love a mortal man. Your will be done.”
The air became heavy. An electrical sound filled the room, and a bright light appeared from which stepped the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She raised her arm and said, “As you are devoted to me, your wish is granted.”
The crackling became so loud I had to cover my ears. I watched as Frankie’s rough, bumpy skin of cement turn to soft smooth flesh. Her body changed to proportions that equaled Athena’s and after a bit, I could hardly tell one beauty from another. Then I noticed Frankie’s hair was turning into a bevy of snakes.
“No, no,” I said, but they continued to grow. As I gazed upon them, I felt heavy. I feared I was turning into a rock. “Why,” I started to say, but my lips of stone could no longer move.
“I’ve answered your prayer,” Athena said to Frankie. “Now you know, always be careful of what you ask for because it can come true.” She disappeared in a flash of light.
Frankie came close and whispered in my ear, “Sorry, Joe, can’t love a man whose heart is made of stone.”
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