books

Bigus Dickus, or is it Bigeth Digeth

Does being born in an afternoon with a silver spoon make a man better

than one born with a bush-whacker as long as a baby’s leg?

Ask Joe. He knows how it goes. When he was sixteen a mealy

mouthed whore wasn’t acting her craft when she saw the size of his

womb broom spit out, “You’re not putting that Bigith Dickith inside of me.”

“Are you trying to say, Bigus Dickus?” The whore laughed and agreed that

was what she was trying to say and Joe’s name became, Bigus Dickus

 

A transvestite named, Cherry wasn’t ashamed to fall for Joe’s

One-eyed monster. She was a fairy and told many like her why she

was in love. To show those who didn’t believe, she drugged Joe

and said, “We’re not wed, so you owe, but I’ll blow if you’ll put on

a show. I’ll invite others like me. All you have to do is stand on stage

and show Long dong silver to those who’ll admire and desire what you have.

 

Joe stood on stage and had an inward rage because he couldn’t

read the page. The audience in disbelief and scorn, chanted, “Take it out,

take it out before we put your eyes out.

 

“Joe became embarrassed for not knowing just what he was supposed

to do. Cherry stepped up on stage and unzipped Joe’s fly, and used both

hands to fish inside his pants and pulled out, Joe’s super-sized Dicktator.

 

Shouts, without doubt, came from the audience and Cherry holding Joe’s

undisguised but oversized One-eyed monster told the crowd for only forty

bucks they could touch Joe’s Treasure. Many got in line when word of the

Pleasure Pump spread and weirdos came from all around to stroke the only one

of its kind. The line got so long it went out the door and around the store.

 

Joe protested while Cherry drank and rested with her hands full of money.

She said, “You’ll become famous and travel the world If you allow

kings and queens to touch your Blue-veined aristocrat and let them know

your noble King Dong is something money can’t buy.”

 

Joe’s young brain thought it okay.

 

“Not only that,” Cherry said. “You’ll become a highly paid movie star

so wouldn’t have to live a life of crime or ever go to jail if you’re caught

doing wrong all along. Trust me; Like a flash, I’ll handle all the cash

we’ll get from those waiting in line to pay to see Justin-in beaver.

 

“You were given a gift to have Wedding wrecker that’s bigger than the

world famous thirteen-and-a-half-inch long dong, longer than an average

wine bottle and about as thick, but you’ve got him beat with your fifteen

inch Long dong silver. I measured it myself, and there’s no dispute.  When I held

your Clam hammer I almost fell to the floor.

 

“Be proud of what you have. If anyone doubts what you say, take down

your pants so they can see, and if they want to touch it, charge them an

arm and a leg, because what you say is true

 

new post for my poetry book

My fictional reading is heavily weighted toward science-fiction. I generally try to avoid poetry, but this said it was about science fiction. It wasn’t very expensive, so I thought I’d give it a shot. I’ve read some of this author’s previous work and I was able to see how the writing has matured since then. These poems are more like micro stories; flash fiction of the sci-fi genre, if you will. They read fast and are great to read for a couple of minute breaks throughout the day. Some of the poems were funny, and some were touching. Space was a huge theme (duh) and the technical jargon did not overrun or dilute the writing, IMO. It’s definitely worth checking out.

sfireader 5.0 out of 5 starsUnexpected!!!

November

Sometimes I’ll play Russian Roulette and just choose a random read since I’m such a creature of habit in my reading pickings. Out of This World Sci-Fi Poetry is what I selected. I was a bit skeptical at first because I have never been fond of poetry but since its’ content was sci-fi, I thought I’d give it a chance. I’m glad I did! I’ve never read poetry of this genre before. It is nothing like the stereo-typical poetry I was forced to read through college. I give the author a thumbs up for this one!

 

Free audio book – A Penis Manologue at Amazon if you join Audible.

Twenty-Six have been sold so far. So Free is a good choice!

Excerpts from my memoir, Life Begins At 66

Lying down on the couch next to the cloth covered frame, I went to sleep instantly. In the morning when I woke, I looked out the window behind the couch. Andy, my brother who had recently died was floating on a cloud coming directly toward me, he and the cloud flew right through the window glass. He got off the cloud, sat next to me on the couch. Stunned I was speechless.  I clearly saw the threads of his shirt.  He didn’t speak either.  Just gave me his crooked smile that showed he was happy.  Then he sat back onto the cloud and floated through the window, disappearing into the sky.

Not a believer in God or spirits, I looked for a logical reason for the vision.

 

 

The next day she required our class to read The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler. The book describes rape and mutilation of women. Researching rapes I discovered that more men than women are raped in the U.S.A. making the United States the first country in the world to count more rapes for men than for women.

 

A guard unlocked Gus’ cell to let a big black dude in who intended to rape Gus. To his surprise, Gus had a piece of pipe in his bed and almost beat the black guy to death with it. Sounds horrible, but that’s how you have to be when in prison. No one protects you. So you protect yourself any way you can. If Gus hadn’t done that, the rapist would have been selling him to other prisoners for a few packs of cigarettes. This story confirmed that what I read about prison rapes was true.

Prescott Valley PWP Book Sale

Joe DiBuduo will be selling his books today at P.V. Library from 10 to 2 p.m.

Crime A Day

“Historically important, insightful, and hugely entertaining”

“Bold and frank, Crime A Day tells Joe DiBuduo’s story of growing up poor and hungry, of the redemptive power of love, and one man’s ability to change his life of circumstance to a life of choice. A fascinating glimpse into the seedy underbelly of mid-20th Century America.” — Michaela Carter, author of Further Out Than You Thought

By turns unsettling, witty and tragic, Crime A Day exposes the harsh consequences of childhood poverty, educational deprivation and social marginalization. DiBuduo went from a hard-working 6-year-old paperboy to a 22-year-old ex-con with a history of incarceration spanning nearly a decade. An unforgettable memoir about tough gangsters and hard drinkers, corrupt police and cynical judges, and the hungry, hardscrabble kids who survived “Hano”— once Boston’s roughest and most impoverished neighborhood.

“Historically important, insightful, and hugely entertaining”
— Debra Di Blasi, author of Drought and Prayers of an Accidental Nature

Top Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsUnderstanding the “Other Life”
ByNancy O. Nelsonon December 29, 2015
Format: Paperback
The title of this memoir reflects the irony of this narrative, which follows in detail the path of a young boy who spends much of his first two decades of life committing petty theft and felony. Happily, the narrator never experiences the electric chair, but he tells of men he knew who faced it in the Cook County Jail in Chicago. The narration is in an unabashedly direct and colloquial voice and relates the hunger of his childhood which led him to steal as young as six years old. The narrator emerges throughout the narrative as (ironically) a kind-hearted person who loves children and animals but who will not turn away from a fight when challenged. We see him gradually give up the life of crime for a life of family, art and writing.

I recommend this book for its rendering of the harsh reality of the “other life” of poverty which many do not experience or realize.

5.0 out of 5 starsA Necessary Tale, Warts and All
ByRoderick J. Williamson January 1, 2016
Format: Paperback
This memoir is a sometimes harrowing, sometimes funny, thoroughly engaging account of DiBuduo’s impoverished upbringing in the Hano neighborhood of Boston in the 1940s and 50s. The narrative is brisk and deceptively easy to read (I literally almost couldn’t put it down; finished it in two nights); “deceptively” because the writer takes a matter-of-fact, unsentimental, and unapologetic look at the brutal effects of growing up poor and hungry. Most of us have an intellectual understanding of what “being poor” means, but this story hammers home the raw experience of being born into a disadvantaged environment and a dysfunctional family. What struck me as most chilling about DiBuduo’s descriptions was his nonchalant, that’s-just-the-way-things-were, we-didn’t-know-anything-different tone throughout the book. Theft and violence and deprivation and hopelessness formed his ideas of “normal,” with no context or clue that a better life might be somewhere outside his immediate neighborhood. And unfortunately, it translates to our modern times: poverty in the world’s wealthiest country remains an ugly stain on our national pride, we’re still having discussions and mixed emotions around the tactics and prejudices of police officers, we still use our prison system to warehouse rather than rehabilitate. That DiBuduo survived his childhood and adolescence, and has even thrived in his later years, is a testament to his core decency, his resilience, and his open heart. This is one of my top five books of 2015. It’s not a pretty story, but it’s a necessary one.

5.0 out of 5 starsYou Have to Read This Book
ByRae Lynnon February 9, 2016
Format: Paperback
Wow! This was a moving and enlightening book. Reading it reminded me of how I felt when I read Angela’s Ashes…a glimpse into a life of poverty– of being downtrodden and deprived and abused, and ultivately of survival and redemption. Joe had an innate goodness and ethicalness that was–in the end–strong enough to lead him away from a life of crime and drug and alcohol abuse. Do you think you could have pulled away like he did? I don’t know if I could have, and lots of folks don’t. If you have any bit of compassion, this book will open your heart even more. Children are still going hungry and being deprived in our country and, of course, all over the world, so Joe’s story might give us all an idea of what they are going through, and what they may yet go through. You won’t regret reading this book. It is well written and easy to read…a page-turner, really.

5.0 out of 5 starsInspirational.
ByAmazon Customeron April 20, 2016
Format: Kindle Edition
“Crime a Day” was chosen by our book club for April, 2016: This book is, by far, the best book our club has read since I have been a member. Joe DiBuduo told his stories in a format that made me feel as though I was sitting at the kitchen table listening to many of Joe’s significant life experiences. I kept wanting to read more to discover how Joe was able to overcome such obstacles.

On those days that you begin to feel sorry for yourself, I suggest you read Joe’s book: It will make you count your blessings.!
Available on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/Crime-Day-Electric-Boyhood-Pursuits/dp/0983195684/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1474459343&sr=8-1&keywords=cRIME+a+dAY

Available now – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1518638236

Available now https://www.amazon.com/Joe-DiBuduo/e/B00644C2GG

Born in 1940, Joe DiBuduo grew up in Boston. He earned his GED at age 30, and a certificate in Creative Writing from Yavapai College at age 69. Books include collections of flash fiction and “flash-fiction poetry,” a children’s picture book, a young adult novel, Cryonic Man, – Story Time Karaoke @ The Chicagoua Café, – The Mountain Will Cover You, – and A Penis Manalogue,- a mixed-genre narrative inspired by Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues.
Three times a year, Jerry Jazz Musician awards a writer who submits, in our opinion, the best original,
previously unpublished work.
Joe DiBuduo of Prescott Valley, Arizona is the winner of the 34th Jerry Jazz Musician
New Short Fiction Award, announced and published for the first time on November 18, 2013. His story “Night Café” won Short Fiction Contest #31.
He won a second time for his story, “Alto Saxophone.”

The Mountain Will Cover You

Crime A Day

“Historically important, insightful, and hugely entertaining”
— Debra Di Blasi, author of Drought and Prayers of an Accidental Nature
“Bold and frank, Crime A Day tells Joe DiBuduo’s story of growing up poor and hungry, of the redemptive power of love, and one man’s ability to change his life of circumstance to a life of choice. A fascinating glimpse into the seedy underbelly of mid-20th Century America.” — Michaela Carter, author of Further Out Than You Thought

By turns unsettling, witty and tragic, Crime A Day exposes the harsh consequences of childhood poverty, educational deprivation and social marginalization. DiBuduo went from a hard-working 6-year-old paperboy to a 22-year-old ex-con with a history of incarceration spanning nearly a decade. An unforgettable memoir about tough gangsters and hard drinkers, corrupt police and cynical judges, and the hungry, hardscrabble kids who survived “Hano”— once Boston’s roughest and most impoverished neighborhood.

This memoir is a sometimes harrowing, sometimes funny, thoroughly engaging account of DiBuduo’s impoverished upbringing in the Hano neighborhood of Boston in the 1940s and 50s. The narrative is brisk and deceptively easy to read (I literally almost couldn’t put it down; finished it in two nights); “deceptively” because the writer takes a matter-of-fact, unsentimental, and unapologetic look at the brutal effects of growing up poor and hungry. Most of us have an intellectual understanding of what “being poor” means, but this story hammers home the raw experience of being born into a disadvantaged environment and a dysfunctional family. What struck me as most chilling about DiBuduo’s descriptions was his nonchalant, that’s-just-the-way-things-were, we-didn’t-know-anything-different tone throughout the book. Theft and violence and deprivation and hopelessness formed his ideas of “normal,” with no context or clue that a better life might be somewhere outside his immediate neighborhood. And unfortunately, it translates to our modern times: poverty in the world’s wealthiest country remains an ugly stain on our national pride, we’re still having discussions and mixed emotions around the tactics and prejudices of police officers, we still use our prison system to warehouse rather than rehabilitate. That DiBuduo survived his childhood and adolescence, and has even thrived in his later years, is a testament to his core decency, his resilience, and his open heart. This is one of my top five books of 2015. It’s not a pretty story, but it’s a necessary one.

5.0 out of 5 stars Understanding the “Other Life”
By Nancy O. Nelson on December 29, 2015
Format: Paperback
The title of this memoir reflects the irony of this narrative, which follows in detail the path of a young boy who spends much of his first two decades of life committing petty theft and felony. Happily, the narrator never experiences the electric chair, but he tells of men he knew who faced it in the Cook County Jail in Chicago. The narration is in an unabashedly direct and colloquial voice and relates the hunger of his childhood which led him to steal as young as six years old. The narrator emerges throughout the narrative as (ironically) a kind-hearted person who loves children and animals but who will not turn away from a fight when challenged. We see him gradually give up the life of crime for a life of family, art and writing.