When death takes you, don’t overload loved ones with funeral costs.
Donate your body to science, and once you sign on the line, your
corpse will get a free ride from the place where you lost your breath,
and met death, to a place where any remains in hand are in demand.
Students, doctors, and some who join in for the joy of dismembering
you to even the score, will slice and dice you without thinking twice
until there’s not much left. If your family is bereft and wants to have
your remnants returned when everyone is through cutting you, have no
fear. All your parts not used or lost, will be sent to them.
Cadavers sold without organs won’t do. Science needs your body intact
before they act. No license is required of those inspired to sell a cadaver.
The price they pay for a corpse is low, but if sold piece by piece, they are
worth much more. So to even the score if you’re not nice to your wife, she
may research and discover legal ambiguities that allow body parts to be sold.
If she decides you must die, she’ll sell your knees, elbows, head, and other parts.
She always said you had no brains, so she’ll only get $600 for yours, $850 for one
elbow, and $850 for each hand, and it will only take her an hour to entirely dissect
your remains, but don’t worry, you’ll feel no pain. If you want to stay whole, you better
be nice to your wife.