Body Parts

      The game was taking place in the back room of the Universal Café. A run down bar owned by a local crime boss on Tremont Street; this was one of the sleaziest neighborhoods in Boston at the time. Bernie walked through the bar looking at the customers sitting at the bar drowning their sorrows while trying to ignore the whores who were pestering them to buy something, either a drink or maybe some pussy. Most just wanted to be left alone to drown their sorrows whatever they were.
      Bernie reached the entrance to the poker room and had to announce to the bouncer that he was sent by Wimpy. Then he had to show at least $1,000 cash to be able to get in the game. There were five players seated at a round table with one open chair that Bernie sat in. He threw his $100 ante on the table and the dealer started dealing the first three cards. Bernie looked at the other players and recognized Fat Tony. Tony was muscle for the mob and Bernie didn’t think he’d bother to cheat in a low stakes for him game like this one. On his right was Chainsaw Willie; he got the nickname when his cheating wife was found cut to pieces with a chainsaw that was left on the floor surrounded by her body parts. Everyone knew he had done it, but with his connections he was never arrested or charged. On his right was Clever, who was pimping women throughout the city, and it was known he paid protection money in order to stay in business. Clever got his name when one of his girls was caught holding out on him and he cut her right hand off with a meat clever. Next to him was another black man named Charlie who worked as an assistant prosecutor for the state. Bernie knew for him to be here somebody was hoping he’d lose big, so they would have leverage when one of the guys came up on charges. The last of his opponent in this game was a stranger who wore a hat and dark glasses. Bernie had no idea who he was.

      Tony was dealing this hand; after each hand was played the deal would pass to the player on the left. The dealer announced the game, “seven-card stud, four cards up and three down. Everyone ante $100,” he said.
The game went on for a few hours and as usual Bernie slowly built his stake from what he started with. His goal was always to double what he started with and then quit while he was ahead. He was getting close to doubling his money and announced after this hand he had to go. The only one who objected was the stranger who was the big loser tonight. He said, “one more hand so I can get even.”
      Bernie agreed to play one more hand; then the stranger said we’ll ante $500 and the bet is $500, and the raise can be $1,000. Bernie didn’t want to play for such high stakes, but everyone else agreed so he had no choice but to play and play he did. He was dealt a seven of clubs for his first face card and the stranger got an Ace of spades. He bet $500 and no one raised to Bernie’s relief. Bernie down cards was the five and six of clubs. With a possible straight flush on the first three cards he was compelled to stay. The next up card gave the stranger a pair of aces and Bernie caught the three of clubs on his next card. The stranger was sure he was going to have the winning hand now and was hoping someone would raise his $500 bet. The aces scared everyone out of the game except Bernie who had a chance for a flush, straight, or even a royal flush. The next cards didn’t help either hand, but the stranger bet another $500. Bernie didn’t want to play for this much money, but his cards didn’t leave him any choice so he called again. The last down card was dealt and the stranger immediately bet the maximum bet. To his surprise Bernie raised him a $1000. He raised a $1000 back and Bernie raised him another $1000. This was the limit for raises only three were allowed. The stranger threw down his cards showing four aces. He reached for the pot, but Bernie told him “Hold on there stranger, I’ve got you beat.”

     “You’ve got four aces beat?” he asked. It showed that he didn’t believe anyone could beat his four aces until Bernie laid down his straight flush that he had caught on the last card. The stranger was pissed and accused Bernie of cheating. “I don’t need to cheat to beat a piss poor player like you,” Bernie told him. The stranger wanted to fight, but Fat Tony grabbed him by the collar and carried him to the door and threw him into the street. “See you later mother f- - ker,” Fat Tony told him.

      Bernie thanked Tony for getting rid of that troublemaker and gathered up his winnings for the night and left. As he bent over to unlock his car he felt a burning pain in his lower back. He straightened up and spun around; there was the stranger with a knife in his hand and Bernie knew that this guy had stabbed him in the back.
      He was reaching for his gun when a shot rang out and the stranger fell dead at his feet with a hole in his temple. Fat Tony walked up to Bernie and showed him three aces. These were stuck to the bottom of the chair this asshole was sitting in. He paid the price for cheating, but he f - -cked Bernie up before he did, because his back was now screwed up. Bernie’s back hurt to bad to help Fat Tony pick the body up and place it in his trunk.

      “Get rid of this on the way home will ya?” Fat Tony said. Bernie knew a guy who worked at the morgue and sold body parts to a biotech company, so he figured he might as well get paid for dumping the body.

      Once he arrived at the morgue he rang the buzzer and his buddy Frankie opened the door. “How ya been?” he asked. Bernie told him what happened and Frankie said, “Let me look at your back?” He examined the knife wound and treated it with some antiseptic and bandaged it. “It’ll take a week or so and you won’t feel a thing,” Frankie said.
      “Is the body worth anything?” Bernie asked Frankie.
       “Are you kidding? A complete body is worth a fortune nowadays,” and he took it out of the trunk and loaded it onto a gurney. “I’ll call you once I sell it and we’ll split fifty, fifty. Frankie called the next day and they met at the Universal Bar for a few beers and to discuss what Frankie said was a business proposition. They met and sat in a booth; once there was a couple of beers on the table and no one was close enough to overhear them Frankie slid $3,500 across the table. “That’s your half for the stiff.”
      “You got this much for a lousy body?” Bernie asked.
      “Yeah, sometimes I get a lot more. It all depends who’s needing one at the moment, know what I mean.” Bernie’s is thinking that this is incredible as the dollar signs flash through his head. Here he’s playing cards five to seven days a week and maybe making a thousand or two, and for dumping one body he makes twice as much. “How big a demand is there for bodies?” Bernie asked.
      “Big, a real big demand right now, and you won’t believe this, but it’s illegal to sell your own body,” Frankie said.
      “I know a lot of people who would sell their body if they could. I never thought about it being illegal though. Why is that?”
      “The National Organ Transplant Act was enacted, to prevent you and me from selling our body parts. And do you want to hear how weird this law is? We can't sell ourselves, but others can. There’s a big market out there because Modern medicine has come to rely on a steady supply of products generated from the tissues of the dead. Organs are allocated to recipients by a system so the rich can’t just buy them, so there is no legal commercial market in them. But heart valves, tendons, ligaments and the like are all in demand and they all fetch a high price.”
      “What’s the most you ever got for a complete body?” Bernie asked.
      “I sold one just last week to a bio-tech company that has developed a way to grind human bone into a putty used to patch small breaks, and they needed a lot of putty to satisfy the FDA so they paid me $20,000 for one body. I have a tissue bank that sells Alloderm to plastic surgeons and they’re always looking for more tissue.”
      “What’s Alloderm used for?” asked Bernie.
      “It provides collagen structure and proteins beneath the skin. Ask your plastic surgeon for a pair of plumper lips, and you’ll get a shot of human-derived Alloderm.” Frankie said.
     “Geez,” Bernie said, “we can get rich selling bodies.”
     “Dam right we can, a body is actually worth $100,000 nowadays. But I don’t do enough business to demand the big bucks. If you can get me a good supply then we could make some real money Bernie.”
He was thinking he could probably get a good supply, but first he had to talk to Fat Tony. “Frankie, I’ll call you tomorrow and I think we’re going to be partners. Frankie left and Bernie slowly walked to the back room to talk to Fat Tony. “How’re you feeling kid?” Fat Tony asked when he saw Bernie,
      “Sore, but it’s going to be fine. I want to talk about a business proposition Tony.”
       “So talk.” Bernie offered to get rid of any bodies that were produced by the crime families free of charge. “Why would you do that?” Fat Tony wanted to know.
      “To be honest Tony I came across a deal where I can make a few bucks selling the remains.” Tony thought it was too dangerous because somebody would find the bodies they wanted to keep hidden.

       “That’ll never happen Tony. Why I’ll skin them on the spot if that’s what you want Tony. All the bodies will be cut into small pieces within a day and no one will ever find a trace of them.”
       “And you’re going to do this for free?” Tony was thinking how nice it would be if he didn’t have to get out of bed in the middle of the night so many times just to bury some stiff. “OK, kid you’ve got a deal, but you know some nights we have three or more stiffs.” Bernie was thinking, the more the better.
Bernie was busy all the time and had to hire help because there were so many bodies to transport. Before long he had a fleet of ambulances to pick them up from anywhere they met their end. An ambulance carrying a body wasn’t suspicious to anyone. He could hardly believe how much money he was making and decided to give Fat Tony a small commission for each body.

     “Its good you’re willing to share Bernie. I’ll see to it that you get more business.”
     Tony mentioned Bernie’s services to his New York contemporaries. Soon Bernie was running a fleet of ambulances in N.Y. Less than a year later he was a national concern with ambulances in all 50 states. He was making so much money he couldn’t keep track of it.
Fat Tony was getting his cut, but he wanted more and Wimpy needed his share of any business Tony was involved in. Bernie showed him how much he was spending just to maintain all the drivers and ambulances. “If we could keep busy at least fifty percent of the time I could give you more money Tony.
Fat Tony went to his boss Wimpy, and told him if they wanted to make more money with Bernie they were going to need to expand the business. “Why not just cut this guy out and take over his business?” Wimpy asked.
“Because he’s an organizational genius boss, he organized the whole country in less than a year. Anywhere in the U.S.A. that you want to make a hit he’ll have an ambulance waiting at the scene to take the stiff away, no hassle.”
      “In that case why are we paying big bucks to make these hits? Why not have Bernie’s guys that are disposing of the bodies do the hit and we can pay them peanuts in comparison with what we pay the pros?” Fat Tony approached Bernie and said, “Look your guys are already carting the bodies away and that makes them just as guilty as the ones who killed them in the first place. I’m saying they can double or triple their income if they’ll do the killing, seeing they have to be on the scene anyway, why not do the whole job instead of half?”
       “I know my guys pretty good, but I’m not sure how many will go along with this.” Bernie said.
Fat Tony said, “Look, your guys are into this already and they know to much to just let anyone quit. You have each one questioned individually and any one who says no, we’ll have another body to sell!” That took it out of Bernie’s hands and he passed the orders on down to the area bosses after making sure they were on board.

    They all were, because to run a crew of guys who thought nothing of disposing of freshly murdered victims took a callous person who didn’t value any one’s right to live. Bernie knew these types would welcome the chance to make more money regardless of what it was going to take.
All the personnel were questioned the same day so there wouldn’t be time for rumors to spread. Bernie’s company sold another one hundred and fifty nine bodies that day. The remaining ambulance crews vigorously pursued their new profession. The price of having someone taken care of dropped so low, that business was booming. The price drop meant that almost anyone could afford to buy a hit now.

     There was the guy who had his wife hit because he said, “That bitch dyed her hair and I don’t like the color,” most people had more legitimate reasons, but the whole country was walking on eggs everyone was trying to be polite to everyone else. One never knew who’d buy a hit on someone for a minor offense. A lot of obnoxious drivers ended up being killed, because the people they offended would write down the license number of the assholes car and phone in an order with the license number and that driver wouldn’t be on the road for the next rush hour.
The ambulance crews were innovative and came up with many unique ideas on how to kill their victims. Posing as doctors or police officers they could stop a victim on the street or anywhere else under the guise of asking him a question and they would either inject him with a quick acting poison or sometimes stab the victim in the heart with an ice pick to simulate a heart attack as any observers would see the victim grab his heart and think he was having a heart attack.
     After a few months it was widely known what was going on, but those in power didn’t want it stopped. The politicians loved this system where they could easily get rid of any opposition; the cops loved it because they didn’t worry about evidence anymore. When they knew somebody was guilty they’d just chip in and have the perp taken out. It changed the whole country, because out of fear everyone bent over backwards to be nice to everyone else and crime dropped tremendously because criminals knew what price they’d pay once they were identified. In fact people became so pleasant to one another that Bernie’s business dropped tremendously.

     Wimpy called a meeting and wanted to know why business is so bad. “It looks like most of the obnoxious assholes got what was coming to them and people are so nice to one another that hardly anyone wants or needs our services any longer.” Fat Tony said.
“Yeah, and we’re having a major problem supplying our customers, Bernie said. “They came to depend on our supply and we better supply them or they’ll find an alternative source.”

       Wimpy showed why he was boss when he said, “Guys, we’re patriotic Americans and the government is having a problem with illegal immigrants so why don’t we help them out?” Half the ambulances were traded in for busses to load the seized illegal immigrants on. The immigrants thought it would be a trip to Mexico or a detention center. Wimpy showed his genius again when he told Bernie, “When they’re getting on the bus make each one drink a cup of Jim Jones Kool aid and by the time the bus arrives at the processing centers they’ll all be dead.”
      “Two questions Bernie said, #1 is, what the heck is Jim Jones Kool aid?”
      “Valium and arsenic mixed in grape juice. Next question.”
      “What processing centers are you talking about?” Asked Bernie.
      “The tissue banks we’re going to open wherever we operate. Why let them jerks make all the money while paying us peanuts. We’ll have a monopoly on body parts.” Wimpy said.

      Bernie was thinking about this plan, he knew the papers said there were 12,000,000 undocumented workers and some estimated twice that number. That meant am almost unlimited supply. The beauty of this plan was the victims were practically beyond the protection of the law. When they disappeared they wouldn’t be missed because they weren’t supposed to be here anyway.

      The Kool aid worked great after they improved the “Jones” formula by adding some vicodin to hasten the effects of the drink and do away with most of the convulsions caused by the original drink. This was added because some of the victims were injuring their bodies when they went into convulsions and a battered body wasn’t worth as much as an unmarked one. Wimpy was known world wide as the cadaver emperor because his product was transported anywhere there was a paying customer. Even China found his products superior to what they were getting by executing prisoners for body parts, and there wasn’t any backlash from the rights organizations. None of the human rights people dared say anything about Wimpy’s operation. They all knew one word from them meant they’d be plumping up someone’s lips, as alloderm and their heart would probably be pumping in someone else’s body.

       There was now a shortage of illegal immigrants because so many had taken their final bus ride. Wimpy boldly began sponsoring immigrants in Mexico to come to the U.S. He would hire coyotes to bring them across the border and once across they would board the busses. They were told the Kool aid was to prevent them from getting motion sickness. If they refused to drink it they’d be returned to Mexico. Of course they all drank it.

     The president called Wimpy to thank him for solving the immigration problem and said, “I can’t publicly thank you, “But I’m giving you and your top guys one get out of jail free card. So if you have any problems of that sort, just call my office. Thanks again.” Wimpy was celebrating that night with Bernie and Fat Tony. They were both very happy to hear they were getting a get out of jail once promise from the president himself. “Just think,” Bernie said, “we all got rich because of that guy cheating in a penny ante poker game.” Fat Tony and Wimpy were both staring with hard looks in their eyes. “Look Bernie, do you think I’m stupid? I know those aces stuck to the bottom of the chair were yours.” Bernie didn’t know if he should deny what was the truth or not, instead he asked a question. “If you knew that why did Fat Tony kill the stranger?”
     “We knew everything about you and we also knew what your friend was doing and we wanted in on a money making opportunity. When we saw you had the balls to cheat when you knew if you got caught you’d be killed. We figured you had the balls for anything. Tony killed that guy knowing exactly what you’d do with the body, and it turns out you had brains and could run the operation. That’s how we got rich, not by accident but by me using my God given smarts,” Wimpy said.

      All Bernie could say was, “Wimpy, you’re the man.”