#125 A Doggy Kiss Creates Oxytocin

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#125 A Doggy Kiss creates Oxytocin

I went into a local store to buy supplies for a hike in the woods. When I told the shopkeeper where I was going, he warned, “There are man-eating animals in those woods, and they’re not the kind you’d expect.”

“I have no fear of wild animals because I’ve got a gun and will kill any that attacks me.”

I left the store, my purchase of trail food and ammo complete. When I stopped in the woods, the sun hid, the wind blew, tree branches waved beckoning me to come on into the foreboding darkness surrounding trees. For the first time I felt a cold ball of fear in my belly.

My first uncertain step sent fire shooting up my legs. Never felt that before. My feet were mashed like the yolks of eggs under my 200 pounds of pounding weight. Must be the fear, or could it be that my brain hadn’t received its hormonal feast and was in dire need to achieve uplifting endorphins known as oxytocin?

I trudged on regardless of the burn and despair because I learned to survive when married before. I heard noise off in the dark woods, I checked that there were bullets in my rifle.

Out of nowhere came a ball of brown fur with a deep-throated growl, causing the hairs on my arms and legs to rise defensively as it surged toward me. I stopped, braced for the attack, and got ready to drop the fur-ball that rushed at me in the first round with a bullet to the brain.

Not understanding why the universe sent an animal to get me, like some branch of a star it wanted retrieved. In these haunted woods where there were supposedly so many vicious beasts,  I stood ready and yelled, “Come on, swine, I’ll send you to an early grave.”

Was the animal stalking me a supernatural beast sent to haunt the forest as the storekeeper warned? Could it be a werewolf I’ve heard so much about?

I began to sweat and my rifle shook as I took aim at the ball of fur charging toward me. Aimed my gun, squeezed the trigger, when to my surprise, I saw the ferocious animal I was about to kill was only an overgrown pup. So I set my gun down. The dog leaped at me and kissed me right on my lips.

To my surprise, my oxytocin flowed from down below. The sun came out, the wind ceased to blow, and the burning fear in my stomach vanished like yesterday’s sun because I was loved by an unknown dog that merely wanted to play with me. This was a gift sent from somewhere, and I say, “Thank you for the taste of joy and for letting a dog kiss me with only love in its heart.”

I went back to the store to show the man there was nothing to fear because the animal running in the woods was just a loving dog. When we walked in the door, the storekeeper’s face contorted in terror. He pulled a rifle from under the counter and pointed it at me.

“Calm down,” I said. “I simply wanted to show you what’s in the woods.”

“Why’d you bring the monster here?” he said.

I saw he was about to pull the trigger, so I shot first and blew a hole in his face before he fell to the floor. I turned to calm the dog. It had grown bigger than a polar bear with teeth longer and sharper than my Bowie knife.

“You deceived me,” I said, “and because of you, I’ve killed a man.”

The giant dog changed into a woman that suited me and she put her arms out, waiting for an embrace, but I knew better because I’ve been married twice.

“It was self-defense,” she said. “He was about to shoot you and me.” She took my hand, and the oxytocin flowed again. I dropped my gun and put my arms around her, put my lips to her face. She nibbled on my neck. Her teeth sank into it, the storekeepers words, “There are man-eating animals in those woods,” sunk in as deep as her teeth, all the while my brain on oxytocin said, “She only wants to smooch,and then she took a big bite.

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